JIU JITSU GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS
Jiu Jitsu can seem like a complicated activity looking from the outside as it is different from the other martial arts offered in this area. This guide for Jiu Jitsu parents is written to help explain how we train, what to expect, gym rules and etiquette among other things.
What to expect for your child’s first class:
Our classes start with a warmup that consists of movements commonly used in Jiu Jitsu.
After the warmup, we go over a technique or two. Your child will then be partnered up with another child similar in size where they get to learn the move on each other and let each other practice the technique shown. The class also might include some grappling games and other drills to practice the technique shown.
This is where Jiu Jitsu and our training differs from other martial arts offered in the area.
Our classes also include a live sparring component, meaning your child will be training with other kids with 100 percent resistance. In this portion of class, they will not be letting each other practice moves, both partners are going 100 percent and trying to take each other down, establish a position of control and submit each other via chokeholds, joint locks, spinal cranks and other techniques. Some of our self defense and bullying focused classes include strikes. They will be built up to be able to be able to safely roll/spar with other kids.
When a partner is caught in a submission they tap or submit, signaling their partner to let go of the submission. Training is not choreographed, is not done with a compliant partner or given a narrow set of allowed techniques.
To put it simply, your kid will not be hitting/kicking boards or bags. Your kid will be put in joint locks, choke holds and other submissions and train under realistic conditions. This is what sets us and Jiu Jitsu apart from other martial arts in the area, all of our training is done full speed and full force to prepare you for a real life scenario and the intensity/ unpredictability of a real fight. In our kids classes, our instructors supervise the kids’ sparring sessions very closely and the kids will be built up to be able to spar with other kids over time after they learn some basic concepts and techniques.
This type of live training is vital for Jiu Jitsu to be effective in a self defense scenario where precise application of techniques is required under duress. Anyone can memorize a set of choreographed moves but unless they are trained in real conditions on a fully resisting partner, whatever you memorized will not be effective.
HYGIENE AND CLEANLINESS RULES
The mats get bleached multiple times daily. However, maintaining a clean and safe gym is a team effort and goes beyond just clean mats. Contagious skin diseases such as ringworm, staph, MRSA and impetigo are common in contact sports; to minimize the risk of disease and to maintain a clean and safe environment to train in, please follow these rules below.
MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD IS CLEAN
No dirty feet, no dirty hands and nails, no dirty clothes. Training clothes must be washed after every session. No wearing the same clothes from last class even if they aren’t stinky or sweaty.
BRING A CHANGE OF CLEAN CLOTHES
It’s a good idea to bring a change of clean clothes and body wipes with you if your kid isn’t going home right after class. Some kids have other activities or parents have errands to run after class. If that’s the case, have your child wipe their body down and change into clean clothes. They shouldn’t be hanging out or getting in your car in sweaty training clothes. This is how contagious skin infections develop.
SHOWER IMMEDIATELY AFTER CLASS
Immediately after does not mean going home and playing video games before hopping in the shower. Immediately means as soon as they get home.
WASH TRAINING CLOTHES AFTER EACH SESSION
Keep your dirty training clothes separate from your clean ones and wear clean clothes to each and every training session. Clean clothes mean they haven’t been worn to the gym before. If your clothes have touched the mats and another person then they need to be washed even if you didn’t sweat and even if they don’t smell.
Training Jiu Jitsu means A LOT of laundry.
CHECK YOUR CHILD’S SKIN REGULARLY
for any signs of skin infections. Look up staph, MRSA, impetigo, ringworm and mat herpes and learn what these things look like. Notify instructors immediately if you notice symptoms of a skin infection. These are HIGHLY contagious and can cause an outbreak in the gym. You must see a doctor and treat these before returning to training. Most of them require antibiotics.
COVER ANY OPEN WOUNDS
and cuts during training. It’s a good idea to have liquid bandaid in your kids’ gym bag. It stays on during training and is more hygienic than regular bandaids. Notify a coach immediately if you notice any open wound, rash, “pimple”, or sore as infections often start out looking like mat burn or a pimple. The coaches have seen many cases of skin infections and can let you know if it’s safe to train.
We take skin infections very seriously here. If your child gets and spreads a skin infection and we deem it was because the above rules were ignored, we can no longer train them. We don’t kick people out simply because they got an infection but if it was due to negligence or not taking the above rules seriously we have a zero tolerance policy.
IF YOUR KID IS SICK KEEP THEM HOME
Flu, cold, sniffles, stomach bug.. just stay home.
To minimize the risk of cross contamination, please do your part in keeping the gym and the mats clean. This means:
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Outside shoes come off at the door
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Barefoot on the mats
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Flip flops must be worn any time you are off the mats ESPECIALLY in the bathrooms. Being barefoot in the bathroom is disgusting as you track that stuff back on the mats.
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No food or drink other than water on the mats. No gum.
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Keep the gym clean by not leaving bloody napkins, band aids, your pile of dirty clothes, empty water bottles etc.. anywhere in the gym.
WHAT TO WEAR
⁃ Form fitting, moisture wicking tshirts or rashguards, and pocketless shorts/ leggings are best for training. No crop tops. No low cut tops. No loose or baggy clothing. No sweats. No jeans, no shorts with pockets, no hoodies, no clothing fingers and toes can get caught on to. No cotton shirts as these hold on to moisture and cause mat burn, don’t stay put and increase the chances of getting a skin infection. Appropriate training clothes must be worn.
⁃ You are not required to buy our branded gear. We don’t care what color gi or what brand rashguard you wear. (Some gyms are strict on this stuff) If you would like to buy our gym gear, check out our academy webstore. https://zenkofightwear.com/collections/gracie-fighter-caribou
⁃ Long hair must be put up.
⁃ No jewelry. Earrings and piercings must come off.
⁃ Keep finger and toe nails short for everyone’s safety. It’s a good idea to have nail clippers in your kids gym bag.
PARENTAL COACHING VS PARENTAL SUPPORT
It can be tempting to call out advice to your child while they’re rolling, especially if you’ve been watching their progress for a while. Just by observing, you will probably learn the terms for basic movements and techniques, and it’s natural to want to be able to help your child progress. Doing this, though, can be distracting at best and dangerous at worst.
Children are easily distracted, and one of the benefits of jiu-jitsu is that it helps students focus on what they’re doing — if they don’t, they might get submitted or taken down. In class, a child should be focused on four things:
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What they’re doing
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What their training partner/”opponent” is doing
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Their coach’s voice
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Their surroundings (so they don’t roll off the mats or crash into anyone)
Kids should not be paying attention to anything that is going on off the mats during class, this includes you too.
This can already be a lot on its own, especially to younger or newer students. Adding their parent’s voice into the mix can make a child miss a cue from their coach or distract them from the fact that their teammate is extending their arm. A parent or multiple parents coaching from the sidelines is distracting to the other kids as well.
Even parents who’ve been paying attention to their child’s jiu-jitsu classes can (and most likely do) give bad advice. Watching jiu-jitsu from the sidelines and spending hours on the mats are two completely different experiences, and the reason your child’s coaches are coaches is that they’ve put in the work and have the knowledge and experience necessary to teach others. It’s better to let a child figure out a solution by themselves based on what they’ve learned from their coaches instead of risking giving them incorrect tips.
Extra instruction from parents can also make a child anxious as they feel like they have to listen and impress both their coach and their mom or dad. The only people a child should be listening to in class are their coaches and, sometimes, an older and more experienced teammate.
Beyond all this, it’s simply good etiquette to sit quietly while your child trains. Just as your child’s elementary school teacher wouldn’t be okay with a parent giving additional instructions in the middle of class, your child’s BJJ coach isn’t in the wrong for putting their foot down about coaching from the sidelines. If you have trained jiu-jitsu and are belted, this still applies. You’re not the coach and it’s disrespectful to try to teach over a coach. Let the coaches do their job.
There are a select few situations in which it may be appropriate and even encouraged for you to use your parenting superpowers. For example, if your child is neurodivergent or requires extra support, the coach may ask you for tips or assistance to give them the best possible experience in class without taking too much attention away from the other students.
It is always better to take a supporting role. Let your child know they did a great job in class even if they didn’t pull off the technique; they watched, listened, and tried and those are the most important traits a student can have. Reinforce these behaviors and encourage your child to keep trying until they succeed. Then encourage them to try something new—leave the rest up to the instructor. If you really want to have more involvement in your child’s jiu-jitsu journey, sign up for classes yourself! There are so many parents and kids who do jiu-jitsu together. It’s a great way to bond with your children, and once you get some firsthand experience, you’ll be able to learn together.
With all of the above being clarified and explained, please understand that if you coach from the sidelines you will be asked to stop. If this continues, you will be asked to leave. You can still watch class outside or this gym may not be the right fit for you.
In addition to the above, please keep in mind the following:
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There will be no nepotism or cliques among parents or children.
We are a team and all children will train with each other and be included, no exceptions unless we deem it so. We observed this first hand in the past, and we will not be a part of nepotism or favoritism in any way. We do not care that we are in a small town, what your last name is, whose birthday parties you go to or who you’re friends with. We are a team. Period.
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If your child does not listen, complains or argues with coaches or another teammate they will be doing some conditioning exercises. If your kid is regularly disruptive to class or breaks gym rules repeatedly, they will be suspended. We are always willing to work with children who have issues if we have the parents support and we work together to solve the issue. That being said, if these behaviors are taking away from other kids' learning experience, we may ask that you bring them back when they are a little bit older.
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We encourage hard training, especially as your kid progresses. Your children will have to deal with other kids grappling them aggressively and putting them in uncomfortable and sometimes painful positions. Unfortunately Jiu Jitsu is not meant to be comfortable for the person stuck in bad positions.
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Understand that your child will be taken down, thrown, smashed, choked, have their joints bent, etc. We encourage hard, aggressive and realistic training. Accusing any child of training too hard or accusing another child of trying to cause injury to your child will not be tolerated. This is a combat sport and a true martial art. Your child can stop the round at any point simply by tapping out and the responsibility will be on them to do so. Coaches also watch and stop rounds that they deem unsafe. We will not be watering down what we teach or the way we train.
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Although rare, injuries do happen in training and it is 100% possible they will be injured at some point, both serious and minor. This is also outlined in the waiver you sign. Take the time to carefully read it. Understand that your kid will be sore and tired, have aches and pains, might have scratches, sprains, cuts and bruises on a regular basis.
BELT PROMOTIONS
We don’t charge and never will charge for belts and stripes. These are earned through hard work.
Belt promotions are often some of the more difficult things for a parent to grasp when they have a child in Jiu Jitsu, moreso if your child has dabbled in other martial arts. To further complicate things, every gym has their own standards and requirements.
Kids Jiu Jitsu has the following belt ranks which are separate from the adult ranks. When your child turns 16 they will progress into the adult ranks. There are no kid black belts in Jiu Jitsu.
White > Gray > Yellow > Orange > Green
White belt is what everyone comes in with and there are no requirements other than to just start training. Every child is different but you can expect your child to spend about 12-16 months at white belt and about a year or two at each belt thereafter. Your child may receive stripes in between belt promotions as a way to acknowledge and reward good behavior and improvements on the mats and to keep them motivated through these acknowledgments.
Unlike other martial arts, belt promotions are not granted based on how long your child has been attending classes. That being said, the more classes they attend and the more mat time they have, the faster they’ll build knowledge and progress.
Here are some of the main things we look for in children before we award them a stripe or belt promotion:
Progression of skills on the mats: This shows us your child has been paying attention and applying what he/she learned in class.
Attitude: A great attitude is a must. If your child is being disrespectful, not following gym rules and overall has a terrible attitude, he will never get promoted or be allowed to represent our gym even if he/she is the best one on the mats skill wise.
Ability to take constructive criticism and improve: Children make mistakes and we expect them to. The gym is a great place to make mistakes and learn from them. Your child must be able to deal with receiving real and constructive criticism and more importantly learn from mistakes and improve.
Desire to take on challenges and new learning experiences: Competing is a great way to take on a challenge and test ourselves. However, competition is not a requirement at all. There are many ways to challenge oneself in class and learn from these challenges. It could be as simple as trying a new technique instead of constantly going for the “winning move” your child may be good at. Or putting themselves in bad positions with smaller or less skilled kids to improve escapes. Basically we try to see if your child is there to learn or to just “win” every round and they need to be able to deal with perceived losses or getting tapped out by other kids without throwing a tantrum.
Every child is different and we take into consideration their learning ability, their age, and their individual goals.
Here are some hard rules when it comes to belt promotions:
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Never throw a tantrum or say anything negative about someone else’s belt/ stripe promotion. Another child’s promotion is not your place to criticize or negatively comment on.
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It is extremely bad etiquette to demand a stripe or belt, or say you think your child has to be promoted or ask when he/she will receive a promotion. That being said, it is okay to ask the coaches what your child needs to work on to get to the next level.
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Belts and stripes cannot be bought. The only way to receive them is through hard work, a good attitude, teamwork and dedication.